"Algophobia- Fear of pain.
Alliumphobia- Fear of garlic.
Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions.
Altophobia- Fear of heights."
A quiet voice was reading aloud.

A soft laugh escaped the lips of the blonde girl sitting atop the overlooking wall of the Astronomy tower. Her back was leaned gently against one of the school telescopes, while her right leg dangled over the edge of the stone wall. She couldn't imagine someone with a fear of heights ever placing themselves in her position. To them, the situation would be crippling, instead of exhilarating. Stephanie Puzey had been reading down the list of fears her therapist had sent her. Dr. McKinnen of the St. Mungo's substance abuse team sure had eclectic methods to a patient's recovery. Last Summer, they had been able to discover the source of her addiction, and fully dissect it. Now, he had her targeting on other areas that could cause one distress. His Philosophy was that one must understand all their weaknesses, before really arriving at change. Stephanie liked him. They had worked their way backwards from difficult matters, to one of the simplest to identify: fear. The pamphlet on fear had come with a note attached. Stephanie was to underline any fears that she identified with, and they would discuss them next summer. This week, she was just going to go through the A's.

Slipping the book back into the pocket of her robes, she sighed, swinging her foot back and forth over the several hundred feet of empty air below her. Two years ago, if she had been seated here, she would have thrown herself of the edge, not a care in the world as to what would happen. Now though, with the aid of Tyler McKinnen, she was able to sit atop this tower, breathing deeply, and able to say that she was sober. Gazing out over the grounds, she saw that there were people milling around in the warm sunshine. The water of the black lake was blurred slightly with the ripples caused by over-excited swimmers. On this Saturday afternoon, Stephanie was preferring her loftly perch to the crowded grounds. It was early in the fall, and Students were lounging on the grounds and in the lake before it became to cold to do so. A cool breeze was, in fact, already making it’s way out of the mountains. The breeze ruffled her hair slightly, but served as a welcome relief from the blazing afternoon sun.

It was still very early in the year, and students were still able to lounge around wherever they please for hours on end. No one worried about homework. A few weeks from now though, the leaves would begin turning brown, and the grounds would be devoid of relaxed students. For one, it would be too cold to stay outside for too long without a sweater. The work load, as well would have increased, causing groups of students to be huddled in team studies, rather than shrieking loudly as they dodged the branches of the whomping willow. Stephanie had been in her second year when the great thrashing tree had appeared. There had been no explanation by the Headmaster, only an announcement that the great tree was vicious, and students should keep their distance. Still, students enjoyed passing the time by challenging their friends to a raucous game of “Tag-the-tree”. Her fellow classmates, even now, could be seen darting in and out around the base of the trunk, trying to lay hand on it’s bark.

Observing the grounds, she sat, not a care in the world. Owls flew overhead, laughter echoed up from the grounds, and she began to hum to herself. It was a melodic tone that she was sure she had never heard before, but the sounds around her seemed to write themselves into music as she hummed. This would be a good day.

Perhaps the wind was blowing louder than she thought. Maybe her tuneless humming had drowned out the sound. Either way, she had not heard the sound behind her of the door opening. She was so engrossed in her surroundings at the moment, that she didn’t even expect anyone else to venture up to the astronomy tower. The wind was whipping her face with blonde hair, which was tied half up, and the other half hanging down about her shoulders. The temperature was perfect. The sun was shining bright enough to take any chill out of the air, even at this high altitude. She was wearing her favorite pair of jeans; slim-cut, navy denim, slightly rolled up at the cuffs. On her feet, were her favorite ballet slip-ons. They were a maroon plaid pattern that almost exactly matched her red tee-shirt. She loved her shoes, and the red shade against her hair, but thought that rouge shirts clashed with her green eyes horribly. It reminded her of Christmas, which, she thought, should only be dressed for during December. So over her simple tee-shirt, she wore a short black trench coat. It was tied tightly about her waist, and she had her hands tucked deeply into her pockets.

She started suddenly, as the form of a tall, dark haired male made it’s way into her peripheral vision. Turning her head, she gazed at him. His arms had come to rest on the stone wall a foot or so away from her feet. As he gazed out over the grounds, she ran her eyes critically up his form. Polished loafers, khakis, a royal blue sweater; this boy certainly know how to dress himself. She could see the collar of what looked to be a light pink button up shirt protruding out of the neck of his pullover. Very nice She couldn’t help but think to herself. She noticed how, even through the lumpy sweater, the boy’s arms and shoulders seemed to be quite filled out. Definitely a quality she appreciated. There was still the lingering question as to who this stranger was. He was not in her year or house, this she knew. He had not been in any of her classes, and certainly did not appear to be younger. Studying him, she determined that he must belong to Slytherin. Hufflepuffs really were not a confident lot, and this male seemed to be quite self assured, approaching her in such a casual manner. Ravenclaws, although a tad more secure, mostly kept to their house or to the library. There surely was a benefit to be found in studying, but come on… One needed to get out every now and again.

The striking male at her foot turned to face her and smiled, commenting on the view. His brown eyes gazed at her in a strange way. Stephanie did not often get looked at in that manner. Most males peered hungrily at a female, as though she were a piece of meat. This look was not degrading, blank, judgmental… all the things one would expect of a Slytherin boy. It was simply friendly, as if he wanted nothing more than to set house prejudices aside, talk with her, and learn to know who she was. She nodded in agreement, turning her sight out towards the lake. Here, she could still watch him from the corner of her eye, at the same time, not appearing as though she were staring. He was unquestionably attractive; anyone could see that. Normally, Stephanie’s cheeks would flush, and she would avoid eye contact at all cost. Being outside was definitely helping her. The breeze cooled her warm cheeks, and she felt for the first time, that she could control the reflex to blush.

Keeping her face only half turned to his, she spoke. “What brings you up to the astronomy tower on an afternoon?” she asked, eyes moving to survey him briefly before darting up to the breathtakingly blue sky. “No stars to look at, at this hour.” She said, twitching her head over her shoulder, indicating the brassy telescope she was leaned against. She knew that he could probably ask her the same question, as she had actually been here first. She didn’t want to stop talking to him though. Something about those dark brown eyes was drawing her in, making her want to know more. Brushing her bangs out of her eyes, she turned her head to face him, returning his warm smile in the process.

The boy in front of her shifted as she spoke. Straightening up slightly, he crossed his arms over his chest. Turning his hips, he leaned causally against the stone wall, body open and facing her own. "And why is someone as beautiful as you, alone?" he asked. Fighting the urge to roll her eyes, Stephanie squinted slightly as she gazed at him. He had certainly delivered the line with more class than she had ever heard. He had done it in a way that sounded almost genuine. Still, it was a line. She couldn’t help but smile at the compliment, as it was a natural reaction to flattery, but refused to let him woo her so quickly. For all she knew, this handsome male was on the prowl, and she was the object he was hunting. Her weakness though, was giving people the benefit of the doubt. He had not proven to her that his motivations were dishonorable, so it was unfair for her to assume as such. Still seating on the wall, Stephanie thought of something to say.

Usually, she didn’t dare think to be so sarcastic with someone she had only just met. The circumstances though, were a bit different here. He was after all a Slytherin, but besides that fact, she got the feeling that he was one who could handle sarcasm. Sarcasm was a surprising idiosyncrasy that some found to have an overbearing hold on Stephanie’s personality. Most strangers took it as an insult, simply assuming that she was a bitch, and no one to be trifled with. Very few females could see the irony in her statements, being that girls always seemed to be so quick to judge one another. They would much rather congregate and rally against one of their one, rather than accept her for bearing different traits. This was the reason that Stephanie had a tendency to gravitate towards male companionship. It had led her astray in the past, but she thought herself to be a little better judge of character this time around.

Untucking her hands from her pockets, she crossed them over her chest, to mimic his movement. Cocking her head to one side, she eyed him, a smile on her face and eyebrows raised. “I was contemplating the contents of a letter.” She said evasively, uncrossing her right hand for a moment to pat her coat pocket, specifying where she had stowed her pamphlet on phobias. “You didn’t answer my question though.” She said, eyeing him in a mock suspicious manner. “How do I know it wasn’t your plan to follow an unsuspecting Gryffindor up here,” she said in an utterly over-dramatic tone, waving her hand outward to indicate the landing on which they were standing, “…and push her off the edge, gaining a point for the ever enduring battle of Slytherin and Gryffindor?” she finished, crossing her arms once more.

This boy, whether it had been his non-chalant manner, his confidence, or simply his debonair good looks, had caught her attention. She found herself wanting to know who he was. She gazed at him, in a manner that was, no doubt, a little overly critical; trying to glean some information about him from his appearance. He was obviously wealthy, she could tell. The make of his clothing was impeccable, not to mention that it fitted his body perfectly. She suddenly realized that her eyes were roving his body, and snapped her gaze to his face once more. There was plenty there to keep her vision busy. Dark hair, chiseled features, and deep, chocolaty brown eyes made up the face that, she was sure, the females of Slytherin house dreamed about every night. He was, indeed, a fine specimen. She hoped that there was a little more to him than looks alone. He had exhibited a little personality thus far, with his confidence and mannerisms, and she certainly hoped that there was only more to come.

((My turn... Muahaha!... >: ) ... that's what you get for triggering my muse lol))

Stephanie gazed at his face, and it seemed as though no time had passed from the moment he had first spoken. His facial expression had not changed since she had begun to speak. NO reaction. Usually, one would smile, laugh, or even get angry in response to her sarcasm, but this was different. It was as if she hadn’t spoken the words at all. All he had done was blink, smile still in place. As she gazed at him though, she noticed that the twinkle that had been in his eye when he had greeted her, was gone. The dazzling smile had ever so slightly receded. Had she been too brash? She knew she could come off as cold or uncaring, but she hadn’t thought that she had in this case. Thinking back though, she had not smiled. She had not winked. She had not offered any indicator that there was humor in her words. She had simply delivered the lines.

She could only imagine how it must have felt, to be shot down after placing yourself out there, at another’s mercy. It wasn’t as if he had asked her out, but he had simply offered a metaphoric olive branch to her by even speaking at all. She had not heard him enter onto the landing, and he could have just as easily turned and left. Instead, he had decided to approach her, and greet her, no, even compliment her. She had only met his attempt at civility with a cold, robotic tone, devoid of human emotion. It was, indeed, the reason she did not write to friends over the summer. It was why she was up here alone, rather than down on the grounds, lounging about with a gaggle of fellow Gryffindor classmates. It was because of this exact tendancy, not many people wanted to befriend her. No one wanted to have to dig down, past her walls and barriers to know the person within. To make friends, one had to be amiable, outgoing, and sensitive. Stephanie was, but in all the wrong ways. Her likeability was sheathed with sarcastic comments. She was outgoing, but at a time where her words were taken to be rude. She was sensitive perfectly adept to empathize, but never allowed it to show. Really, who would want to be a friend with someone like her? Someone who kept all their emotions bottled up inside? You simply needed to put in too much time, trying to earn her trust.

He peered at her, as though summing her up. It was as if he were weighing the words he were about to say, trying to determine how, or even if she would react this time. As he spoke, he used a tone that was clearly informative, but she could tell that he was being completely honest. Without using names, he was able to express opinions of people, and show that he was human, for wanting to escape from it all. Pausing a moment, his tone changed, and he made a point of displaying subtle banter at her choice to come to the Astronomy Tower herself. She exhaled a short laugh through her nostrils, lips forming a smirk. Shrugging her shoulders she smiled, answering his jab with a smile. He had been honest with her, she should do the same. “Honestly,” she began, taking a deep breath, for she was about to be. “I came here for the view, and in an effort to not feel lonely.” She paused, allowing her gaze to fall from his face. “It’s easier to be alone when there’s no one about, than to be alienated from a ton of people.” She finished, blushing ever so slightly. It was, of course, the truth. Here, she did not have to care what others were talking about, or about impressing anyone. She could be at peace with her thoughts.

Only just a few minutes ago, she had been happy. Reading through her pamphlet of fears, and engrossing herself in the beauty around her, she had been carefree, not hampered by serious thoughts on life. Now, talking about it with this boy, she felt vulnerable and saddened. She knew, of course, that speaking what one was truly feeling, was the only real way to realize it, but it was still a painful realization. Sitting now, head fallen and arms crossed, she understood why she so often found herself ostracized from the company of others. It wasn’t other people who did not care to make the effort. It was her. She did not care to try to impress others, which, in turn, caused her to estrange herself. Her loneliness was no one's fault but her own. It was moments like this that she dreaded. Normally, the more she spoke to someone, the greater the chance she would lay herself this open. It was only Dr. McKinnen who she trusted to witness these moments, and was becoming rapidly more nervous. She became aware of the stinging in the corner of her eyes, and was grateful that her gaze had dropped. Stop it! she commanded herself, feeling the tears welling slightly. Not in front of him. Blinking furiously, she felt the burning slowly recede, and her eyes become dry once more.

He was indeed handsome, although he now seemed slightly more deflated than he had at his first approach. She prayed that he was not now thinking of some way to escape this hostile girl. That was the last thing she had wanted. Really, he had caught her interest. He had spoken in a way that seemed to reflect genuine interest, but she could not be sure, The voice in the back of her head was certainly doing a good job of telling her that she had fudged everything past repair. She hoped against hope, that it was not too late to salvage this encounter, and, possibly, make it a positive moment. She crossed her fingers under folded arms, thinking quickly of something to say.

Raising her dry eyes to meet his once more, she gazed inquisitively at him. All of a sudden, she had become strangely determined to show at least one person at Hogwarts that she was not an entirely heartless bitch. Smiling, she extended a hand to him. Speaking in a tone that reflected the smile on her face, she said, “I’m afraid I’ve forgotten any manners I possessed.” She laughed, now knowing full well how distant she had sounded when they had first spoken. Speaking openly and ungaurded had made her realize how emotionless she had sounded a few minutes ago. “Stephanie Puzey. And you are?” she asked, genuinely curious. She was already tired of referring to him ‘that boy’ in her own head. She would much prefer to know his name, even if that were the only thing he left her with today. At least then, she would have something to remember him by, able to put a name to his face.

(( o.O Holy crap! I didn't realize that it was 6,300 charries long!))

He laughed. Ciaran genuinely laughed. The sound lifted any strain that Stephanie had been feeling. Relief swept over her, and she smiled brightly in return to his laughter. The effort to restart this encounter was working out wonderfully.

He smiled a lovely smile before answering her question. “The usual” he said, evasively. As he spoke, it was clear that he was not answering her question, and the look on his face told her that he knew it too. She opened her mouth to call him on it, but before she could say a word, he was speaking again. “My turn to ask.” He said playfully, as if they were taking turns. Stephanie sighed and smiled, happy now with how this afternoon was turning out. He had proposed the game of conversation, and was now taking his turn of rolling the dice. Her smile faltered slightly when her asked his question. Boyfriend. She hated that word. Ever since she could remember, girls had strode confidently down the halls of Hogwarts, giggling with their friends, gossiping about ‘boyfriends’. Having a boyfriend seemed to be a social status. An upper echelon of female society that she had not yet stepped into.

Staring at him for a moment, she paused before answering. It bruised her pride to say it, but she must. “No.” she said, forcing the smile back onto her face. “No boyfriend. Never had one.” She said, adding a playful wink. More often than not, she was glad she was free of the commitment of a boyfriend. At other time though, when she was alone with her thoughts, or squeezed next to a smooching couple at the Gryffindor table, she found herself wishing otherwise. Like any girl, she mostly wanted someone to hold her, and make her feel safe and wanted. If anything could help someone’s self confidence, it was knowing that there were boys out there who wanted her for something other than her body. It was the validation everyone wanted and needed to feel complete, but something no one would admit to.

Sure, Stephanie was a strong willed girl. She could fend for herself in a crowd of men, and could stand alone in a society filled with social handicaps. It was a benefit in her eyes, but a downfall to others. Romantic moments were important to take part in, to enforce the idea of love. These days, with all the arranged marriages and pre-marital relations, it was hard for a person who had never experienced that emotion, to truly believe in love. Stephanie certainly didn’t. She had never seen it. Her parents, who were supposed to set the prime example, had let petty differences tear their love apart. Seeing the destruction of a relationship like that from front-row seats made it difficult for her to be an optimist. She knew that there was a possibility, of course, that she could find love everlasting, but she would wait to believe it until she saw it.

Turning her attention back to Ciaran, she studied his smiling face. Surely, a pureblood like him, who ran in such respected circles of high society, had had his share of girlfriends. His parents had, no doubt, already arranged a bride for him once he left school. However, he carried the confidence of a man who could still have his pick of any woman he desired. Perhaps they hadn’t chosen on for him yet, she thought to herself. He mind flashed for a moment though, on Lucius Malfoy. Although betrothed to Narcissa Black, he hadn’t let that stop him having his cake and eating it too. Ciaran though, didn’t seem to be that type. He seemed a tad more gentlemanly than Mr. Malfoy…

But maybe that was what was left of her romantic side imagining things…

“What about you?” she asked, smiling curiously. “There’s no way you’re not attached…” She let the last sentence hang on the air between them. She knew full well how it had sounded, but didn’t mind stroking his ego a bit.. He was a nice guy, who seemed very genuine. He had yet to prove her wrong.